I haven't said too much about being pregnant on this blog, but guess what, I still am. And not just a little, I am in the 33rd week, cellulite to my ankles, wedding ring doesn't fit, heartburn in my chest, are we there yet, part of pregnancy. On top of that, I just saw a picture of myself from Christmas and, I promise, my belly isn't the only part of me that is bigger than normal. I think I've thought through this whole
pregnancy thing a bunch of times but the other day I had a rude awakening. You want to know what it is? Not only do I have to go through pregnancy, but I am going to have a BABY in a few weeks. If I were a swearer, I think I might insert an appropriate one here because, believe it or not, all this consideration of pregnancy barely takes into account a baby.
I know you'd think it would be obvious but . . . .
The catalyst for this was a trip to
Wal-mart where I got to thinking, "well maybe I should buy a couple of
binkies just in case that little baby decides to come early." But that escalated to,
desitin, diapers, socks, wipes, shampoo. . . . Yikes. I dropped the whole idea and didn't buy any baby stuff. But then I really got to thinking: I have no car seat, Alisa is still using the crib, Alisa is still sleeping in the nursery and has to learn to sleep in a real bed, all of the baby clothes are packed unsorted and unwashed, I don't know where the crib bumper,
boppy, baby bouncer or spit-up cloths are and (holy
moly) I am still unpacking regular stuff. Oh yeah, and we've hardly broached the subject of a name.
I am not worried too much about getting it all sorted out; that will happen. I am a little bit more worried about my mental state. I am so emotionally unprepared that I haven't put an ounce of thought or energy into preparing. Is something wrong with me?
Well, maybe this "rude awakening" is just that for me: an awakening of the upcoming reality. This will be my start to get things in order and to remind myself that I am going to have to spend inordinate amounts of time, money, and energy caring for a tiny person very soon. I hope I can cope.