Living an Intentional Life

So, I have been feeling this pull lately; just this pull to write and express myself. This is mostly in hopes of trying to figure out what I truly want and what makes me truly happy. Sometimes that's hard for me. I don't know if other people feel this way too but for me a lot of my life follows the path of least resistance. I tend to take the easiest course instead of making intentional directions. That's a fine way to live except that I think there might be more inside of me screaming to come out if I will just listen.

Sometimes I actually think about myself and start to get panicky because I remember a time when I felt like I was good at quite a few things....maybe not everything but I had a general feeling of competence. And then I constrast that now with my mountain of evidence of mediocrity and wonder what happened along the way. But it's my own fault. It's not circumstantial. I let it get that way.

One part of me that I miss is writing: putting complete thoughts into words that convey an idea. It used to be such a commonplace thing in my life but "stay-at-home mom" doesn't require that. So I have let that part of me go. This is one part of my life that I have chosen to be intentional. I am not just going to bump into it or come across it; I will create it.

I have chosen my blog as my forum not because I think many people will read what I write, but because I can pretend that they do which I think will make me accountable. We'll see, huh.