In celebration of my upcoming 30th birthday, I have been taking a mental catalog of all of my body parts that are breaking down, fading, sagging or otherwise different than at 20. It's a hard road to travel down. To ease my saggy mind, I am listing them here as kind of a list of resolutions--you know, things to work on.
1. Number one on the list is definitely my shoulder. Seven years ago I ripped it out of socket while skiing (showing off but I am smarter than that now.) It took a year of struggle to get it back to "normal." But this summer at the beach, it happened again, to the same shoulder. I would like to be cool and say I was surfing a big wave but really I was floating along on a big green, blow-up crocodile. And now it keeps popping out all over the place--incidentally, just like Nicolas' Transformers.
2. My lower back causes me all sorts of problems. There is nothing that makes me feel old like complaining about my back . . . except of course, walking hunched over because of my back.
3. My earring holes keep scabbing over. Now this one baffles me. I can understand some pains due to aging but this is really not fair. (PS If anyone has a cure for this, please share.)
4. I went to the eye doctor today and he told me I have "deposits" on my retina. "Could be a problem if you get glaucoma." Yikes. He also told me my eyes are really blue. Huh?
5. I am 20 lbs heavier than at 20. Increased risk for heart attack, high blood pressure, blah, blah.
6. Last month I forgot how to turn on our clothes dryer. I'm not kidding. And I hope you are not laughing because I almost called a repairman because it was "broken." This falls into the mental breakdown category. I also can't do those Sudoku puzzles like I used to. I didn't know that one requirement of aging is to get dummer (sic). But maybe teenagers are right (about being smarter than parents) because by the time Nicolas hits 12, I will have lost some serious brain power.
There you have it. I estimate that I can add about one item a year until I hit 75 . . . but at this rate, I might not make it there.