Random Thoughts and Happenings

I haven't been writing lately. Can you tell? In fact, I haven't written in so long that I don't even know what to write about. Surely STUFF has happened in the last three months. At least, surely THOUGHTS have happened. And yet, I still draw a blank in trying to describe the breadth and depth of life. There's too much.

Should I tell you about living in a new place and meeting new people and who my new favorites are? Should I tell you about my insecurities in making new friends and taking a long time to trust these friends?

Or maybe I should tell you about the poor choices some of my children have made this summer and how those choices and have torn me apart, made me feel personally ashamed . . . even though I wasn't the one making those mistakes? And how discouraged I have felt?

Should I talk about how I haven't raced this entire summer . . . a first for me? The truth is I'm scared. I don't want to face the fact that I work hard but don't even compare to the runner that I used to be. Or maybe I should tell you that I did run the Ragnar Relay thinking it would be a cakewalk and it ended up being a gut-wrenching, nausea-inducing, sleep-depriving, trip in an RV.

Would you like to hear how I've been called to work with the Young Women in my ward only to discover that they are both socially and spiritually more mature than I am? And I that I'm having a beastly time remembering all their names?

See, I'm having a hard time narrowing it down. Here is a list of randomness--not including the aforementioned topics. Be forewarned; this list has no subject.

1. We still have no grass. But we do have three trees and an in-ground trampoline which we spent an entire Saturday installing.

2. I pieced my first quilt, a patchwork with every-other denim which I cut from used jeans. I started this project thinking this would be an economical way to get nice bedspreads for the boys. Let's just say that the economical part is debatable.

3. Jackson talks like a madman. Sometimes he's talking so much I wonder how he can breathe. And his favorite topics start with "supo-he-yos" and "supo-powos." (He can't say his r's and l's.)

4. I got a chemical burn last winter while trying to clean out my rental house. I learned not to use lime-away without gloves. Now that it's summer, the skin on that arm looks a little funny whenever it gets sun. Do I have cancer?

5. I started reading Jane Eyre for the first time and only have 60 pages left. Somehow, even after reading 400 pages I've lost interest and instead have been reading the entire Percy Jackson series.

6. I've lost interest in cooking and have finally succumbed to calls for pizza, tacos, and hamburgers. Healthy fare.

7. We went to Bear Lake. Don't ask.

8. There was someone in my neighborhood who decided to shoot off aerial fireworks every day of July just because they could. I got kinda sick of it.

9. My kids took swimming lessons from the Nazi swim teacher. It was horrendous. They hated it. They whined the whole day worrying about the next lesson. I worried that this was bad for them. They learned to swim.

10. I keep forgetting to get my oil changed and my tires rotated.

"I know what to do with a cell phone"

Luau

Alisa had a luau for her 5th birthday party. Here is a smattering of the pictures. By the way, I did not take these pictures; my friend did and she is a much better photographer than I.

Seriously, have you ever seen such a cool candle blowing picture?

Briggs fixing a zhu zhu pet house he made for Alisa. Seriously adorable.

Southern California Vacay

A few weeks ago we took a trip with the Rufs to Southern California. I know you must all be bored stiff with pictures of Disneyland but I couldn't resist this one . . . . .



or this one . . . . .


or this one . . . . .


or basically any of these other ones either.

House Guests

Last week, we went on vacation and when we returned, someone had moved in.

Can you see it? Sticking out the sides?


Wow, that must be a whole week's worth of work.


Sorry Mr. Bird. but we have to evict you.

The Path of Least Resistance

The other day my brother mentioned something to me about "since you stopped blogging." Wait a minute . . . did I stop blogging? Like so much in my life, sometimes decisions are made in a passive manner--where I let things take their course without my direction . . . where I keep running along on the path of least resistance. I hate that about myself. I would prefer to have these grand ideas and make a plan and carry them out.

Today I was thinking about how in adolescence I told everyone that I wanted to be a marine biologist. And, at the time, I thought my biggest problem was that I lived so far from the ocean. Now I am wise enough to know that I suck at math and that I am terrified of being more than three feet under the water. And that I have a short attention span. All these are much bigger problems than not living on the coast. But at that time I wouldn't let myself see "meaningless" obstacles because I was a dreamer and capable of anything.

Currently, my personal aspirations (if they are still in there) are buried beneath a barrage of day to day child-rearing, house keeping, and food making. I have been so caught up in trying to keep up with life that I have forgotten than maybe I could do even more.

And yet, I have to admit, I am happy. I have achieved many of my dreams. I don't regret anything I have done.

So what I am wondering is this; is it ok to just be who I am without being something spectacular? Without ever being noteworthy? Without being someone who utilizes her time on earth to really make a difference to people? To go on doing what I've always done?

For now, I choose to just keep on living and I hope that's ok.

PS I haven't stopped blogging.

At our house . . . .

. . . . you have to bring your sunglasses to breakfast.


"Mom, stop messing around with the camera and give me my pancakes."