I try really hard not to think of life as one big struggle. You know, jumping from one alarming situation to another. But, as I am now THIRTY, I think I am beginning to see that the real challenge is being content in an era of discontent.
I now live in St. George, Utah which is a very small place with a very small economy and set of people. There are only so many things people can do for employment in such a small place yet it is absolutely overrun with overly large houses. Where do the poor people live? So, I have been thinking lately about the pulls and pushes of our jealousies. On the one hand, when someone points to an amazing neighborhood where every home is owned by someone in their twenties, I start to wonder how this happens. Yet, at the same time, I would feel silly and ostentatious in a house like that. But I can see how easily we could get sucked in. Especially because I do believe my husband is the smartest, kindest, and most ambitious person. If anyone deserved it, he does. But that is my point; what is there to DESERVE anything.
Relatedly, I sort of feel my current struggles with my oldest child have to do with jealousies toward his sister. She is absolutely adorable and like a little doll. Everyone we meet comments on her and she is in that phase where everything she says is considered clever and brilliant. Who wouldn't be jealous. But at the same time, he is neglecting the fact that she has much to be jealous of him: he gets to play baseball with dad, he gets to go skiing, he gets to go to school, he gets to stay up late, he gets to sleep in a real bed, he gets to cook with mom, he understands everything happening around him, and he gets to learn amazing things about the world.
As a matter of fact, I've come full circle here because in both instances, it is obvious that in most cases jealousy is a false emotion when we consider what we have instead of what we have not. We must have quite a bit of control over our own happiness in being grateful for the things we have been given.
Umm, anyone have good ideas on how to teach a four-year old hearfelt gratitude?
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2 comments:
That was beautiful!
I think that the word DESERVES is up there with ENTITLED. I mean are we ever really entitled to anything? Similarly do we deserve all we have? Prolly not. (Yes, the 'prolly' was on purpose as I'm going back to my teens when I failed to enunciate).
Interestingly enough, I finished the "process of gratitude" section of "The Secret" last night. And here's a quote (page 77):
"It is impossible to bring more into your life if you are feeling ungrateful about what you have. Why? Because the thoughts and feelings you emit as you feel ungrateful are all negative emotions. Whether it is jealousy, resentment, dissatisfaction, or feelings of 'not enough,' those feelings cannot bring you what you want"
Anyway, I consider you a very grateful person. And your example alone will work wonders with a bright 4-year-old.
We're running into the same problem with our two guys. I've read that lots of family activities - supporting each other individualy - helps build empathy and companionship. I'll let you know in 4-6 years if it works out :)
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